“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”—Anais Nin (via tuberculosismanifest)
“Punk is: the personal expression of uniqueness that comes from the experiences of growing up in touch with our human ability to reason and ask questions; a movement that serves to refute social attitudes that have been perpetuated through willful ignorance of human nature; a process of questioning and commitment to understanding that results in self-progress, and through repetition, flowers into social evolution; a belief that this world is what we make of it, truth comes from our understanding of the way things are, not from the blind adherence to prescriptions about the way things should be; the constant struggle against fear of social repercussions.”—Greg Graffin (via thr0ughbeingcool)
In my opinion, the most important PMA mantra/tenet is to let go of what you cannot control. Considering moments that have passed will do nothing to change what has happened and worrying about the future will not prevent what is inevitable or help to alleviate your fears about what might happen. All we can do is focus on the present moment and decide on our attitude in that given moment. It is much better to move on to the next moment with a positive attitude, rather than a negative one.
It isn’t easy to be positive in every situation, and sometimes it seems almost impossible, but those are usually the times when it matters the most. When I have a hard time snapping out of worrying or dwelling on something that I have no control over I just remind myself that I am more likely to have positive things happen in the future if I let my worries go and embrace a positive mental attitude now. Just remind yourself that it was what it was, it is what is, and tomorrow will be what it will be. Accept the positive possibilities of your tomorrow and reject the negative - basically, focus on what can go right, not what could go wrong.
There are a number of reasons why I don’t cam anymore but when it comes down to it, it just became a very negative influence on my life.
When I started off it was just a random thing that I wanted to try but I liked the idea of working from home and I made pretty good money from it so eventually it became my main source of income. It seemed easy enough at first but I didn’t realize how much it took out of me and distanced me from my real life. Because the whole job is based on your sexuality and appearance it really affected how I felt about myself and I ended up getting really down on myself. I became very preoccupied with my sex appeal and I never felt like I was pretty enough; I just got really caught up in the whole thing. I didn’t feel like myself anymore and people who were close to me noticed. However, at the time I was pretty much oblivious to all of this and it’s taken a lot for me to realize it all now. Bottom line is that the job was getting in the way of my personal life and no amount of money is worth that.
This is probably a much more in depth answer than you were looking for but I’ve had a few questions about this already so this is my full answer and you can take what you want from it. I don’t regret anything because I learned a lot and now I’m just focusing on being positive and on the people who are a part of my real life.
I should add that since I’ve stopped camming, one of my closest friends actually said “welcome back” to me, and it just made me realize how awesome the people are in my life and how much I appreciate them.